Fake!PFSB for Natasha

[hasthehighground]

Following on from this post.

In the rafter over her head, there's a guy in civvies reading a book (something old, battered, and by Louis L'amour) and drinking coffee out of a thermos.

Not that she doesn't know that-- one thing he likes about Natasha is that she can be trusted to look up. It's been a long couple days; it's nice to just relax. Clint figures they'll actually talk when he gets a refill, or if she gets bored.

Comments

[hasthehighground]

"I forgot this part." Clint stares at the screen.

Sure it's been like three years, but still.

"Can Ripcord shut up? I mean, is it physically possible?"

[redintheledger]

"Scarlett," Natasha informs the screen, "kick. his. ass."

Not even a sword in the face gets Ripcord to shut up for long, which makes her mouth press into a line.


"Technically, GI JOE doesn't exist. But if it did, it'd be comprised of the top men and women from the best military units all over the world. The alpha dogs..."

"Who can't play nice!" she nearly shouts at the screen. "Do you people know nothing of organizational psychology?"

[hasthehighground]

"I get the feeling they'd fail your average kindergarten," he says, wincing slightly at the screen.

Clint's fully aware that neither he or Nat are team players, but at least they can hold conversations without actively insulting and/or threatening the people they're working with.

[redintheledger]

Not to mention they are happy to take orders when the situation arises. Natasha is staring at the screen, pondering how any of the characters managed to survive basic training.

By the time Hawk is accusing McCullen of not being 'fair' on the main character, Natasha has her hand pressed to her forehead.

"Explosions. Now. Please, movie, before you lose any more dignity."



"And Ripcord, shut. up."

[hasthehighground]

There are no immediate explosions. Clint glances to Natasha; he's cool with fast-forwarding if she is.

"Oh, look, McCullen's evil. Who would've thought."

He DISLIKED THE PROTAGONIST!!!

[redintheledger]

"And of course he's in love with the evil catsuit woman." She snorts faintly, and waves her hand at Clint.

FAST-FORWARD ACTIVATE, HE WHO HOGS THE REMOTE.

[hasthehighground]

Clint fastforwards to a place that looks promising; after a couple seconds, though, it's clear it's just a training simulation and Ripcord starts talking again.

Clint keeps fastforwarding, until a scene where a grenade goes off, and evil catsuit lady seems to be involved.

[redintheledger]

Evil catsuit lady, who is telling Duke that he can't kill her because he's still the same man she fell in love with.

(Natasha glances at Clint, quickly, silently, before she focuses on the screen.)

The main character refuses to pull the trigger, until Ana slaps the gun and shots are fired and the screen is a blur of violence and action and long-lost evil brothers.

[hasthehighground]

"Thor probably shouldn't see this either," Clint acknowledges, after a moment, voice a bit careful.

Though Snake Eyes being as bombastic as Thor would be... weird.

Kinda funny, honestly.

[redintheledger]

"Neither should Rogers. It might offend him," she says, ducking her head just a little as she smiles, imagines Steve's expression as the two catsuited women fight.

[hasthehighground]

Clint glances to her, expression lightening a bit at her smile.

"He could probably do with a little offending, now and then." There's no grudge in the tone, just mild amusement.

[redintheledger]

"Mm, true. But I think we could find something...sillier to offend him with."

On the screen, the president is saying that the terrorists intend to use the weapons, to which Natasha can't help but say, "No shit, Sherlock."

[hasthehighground]

"Sam the Eagle, maybe," he says.


"Oh, hey, we're being epic about France again."

[redintheledger]

"I do not understand anyone's motivation in this movie," Natasha says at last, as if pronouncing judgement.

[hasthehighground]

"Well, this guy," being the guy getting Extreme Makeover: Face Edition, "makes sense, I guess, depending on how much cash he's getting out of it."

[redintheledger]

"Nope. I still don't get it. Well. Maybe from an ambition point of view? Pulling off that big a con?







Okay, I can understand that."

[hasthehighground]

"I'm kind of suspecting if he'd known how gross it'd get he would've passed."

The flashback to Snake Eyes' childhood is, actually, kind of interesting.

[redintheledger]

Unfortunately, the interlude with Scarlett and Ripchord is...not.

"No, don't," Natasha says, once again resting her hand on her forehead as Scarlett tells Ripcord that she and Snake Eyes aren't actually together. "Ugh."

[hasthehighground]

He looks over to her while Protagonist angsts over his ex-fiancee, and shakes his head. "Honestly, I don't... even know what they were thinking."

He really can't fathom that the screenwriters have ever even spoken to women. I fact, he kind of hopes they haven't, because that would kind of explain this.

[redintheledger]

"Maybe they were high?" she offers, as Scarlett talks about nano-mites.

"Mind-control," asks the main character, clearly thinking of the evil catsuit lady.

"I don't see why not."






"I mean, if you look at the term 'nano-mites', it really should be 'nano-bots'."

[hasthehighground]

Clint is caught still, staring at the screen blankly, until Natasha speaks.

He glances down, as circumspectly as he can manage. "Like they've never even seen a sci-fi movie," he agrees, after a moment. "I mean, unless they think they're actually mites, which is a point towards the high theory."

[redintheledger]

She's watching him now, dividing attention between him and the screen.

"I think it's the latest thing with script-writers. Have you caught the morning cartoons lately?"




Ah, a flashback sequence. Lovely. Hopefully, there will be an explosion soon.

[hasthehighground]

"No," he says, glancing to her, curious. "Other than Spongebob, which is pretty far out there already."


He still feels -- he still feels that stillness in his mind, at the forefront, and he's cataloguing every potential sound or visual more conciously than he usually does, but he can do this. He can do this. It's just stupid old GI Joe. And Natasha's worried.

He's worried her enough.

[redintheledger]

"If you ever catch the one with the flying tree and the pink creatures with tails and the singing sun, don't worry, you aren't high, you're actually seeing it."

A quick smile as backstory unfolds on the screen.

"Though that may not help."

[hasthehighground]

"...I don't want to ask how you figured this out," Clint says, suspicious and amused.

When he glances back to the screen, evil catsuit lady and Snake Eyes' evil brother are up.